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Bluemidgetguy
Oh! Peanut butter and Jelly sandwhiches you guys.

chad Tilton @Bluemidgetguy

Age 39, Male

Masturbating w/ Goro

Evergreen State College

My sisters womb.

Joined on 2/6/03

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I found my Mom's new Dildo

Posted by Bluemidgetguy - July 17th, 2007


First. I should tell the time I found my Mom's strap on dildo when I was 16. Here goes.

I was snooping around her room because she was on some crazy ass 3 week bike race across state. Anyways. I was looking for porn or something because I remember back in the day I found a playboy mag in my Mom's room. More than likely belonging to her boyfriend at the time. Still I was hoping for something sweet.

And I got it.

I looked under her bed and saw a wicker basket. I opened it up and in there I found a peanut can. In the can contained weed. I was like "WTF MY MOM SMOKES WEED" I dont even smoke pot. Then I find some K-Y Lubricant and A STRAP ON DILDO! YES. A STRAP ON DILDO. My Mom isn't a lesbian. Her Husband now has one eye. I wonder if she rams his socket.

NOW THE NEW DILDO STORY

I'm almost 22 now. I was staying at my Mom's last night because she is once again off on that same bike race that is 3 weeks. I was just relaxing, it was about 1 in the morning, then suddenly I hear two loud POPS that sound like gunshots and a movement on my porch. I run upstairs to my Mom's room where she keeps a small pistol in one of her dressers. With adrenaline pumping through and I'm seriously about to shoot someone once I get this fucking gun out of her dresser. Then. I find a 10 inch dildo with one of those little things at the end of it that plug your butt as well. The dildo is called a Dolphin for it's resembelance to the animal or mammal whatever.

Worst thing though. There was hair on it. Even on the butt part.


Comments

You win in every way dude...

<333333333333333333333333333

I´d be in any threesome with you babeh.

SO FUCKING HOT.

I want to be inside you.

HAHAHAHAHAHa.

I don't care if that's not true, it's genius.

Also, I do not wish to perform oral secks on you.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

your gay

OH BABY TAKE A SHIT IN MY MOUTH

yum

ello

You're amazing, your sickness goes unmatched.

You're stories are by so far the best, and hopefully are more accurate reaccounts than stories ^^

you should have kicked there ass with that thing.you could have used it like a knife.

What was on the porch?

Not sure. Maybe a cat or something.

So what happened on your porch?
Im interested now.
did you shoot someone? did they shoot you? are you actually the dude on the porch, impersonating Chad-T right now?

should I lock all my doors and windows?
What is the meaning of life?
Why are we here?
What should I eat for lunch? Im hungry.

Now tell them what you did with it.

A chick farted on your dick btw.

Your family is dysfunctional.

Hahahaha, I'm really glad I read that.

fuck you

bye for now, cum for later

i h8 u :( you have no class

what the fuck is your mom's problem man and what does she do with that dildo that's weird.

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